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Coronavirus Panics After Testing Positive For Trump

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WASHINGTON, D.C.—Coronavirus has begun panicking after testing positive for Trump. The test came back late Thursday evening, and doctors confirmed the worst: the coronavirus has contracted Trump-45. “Oh no! We’re doomed!” cried tiny little coronaviruses, frantically looking for a way to escape Trump’s body. But Trump held his breath and plugged his nose and ears, […]

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