Planned Parenthood Celebrates 104 Years Of Preventing Fatherhood
NEW YORK, NY—In honor of Father’s Day, Planned Parenthood put out a press release reminding the organization’s followers that they have been preventing people from becoming fathers for nearly 105...
View Article9 Careers More Appealing Than Being A Police Officer In 2021
Being a police officer in 2021 kiiiiiiinda sucks, since, you know, everyone will hate you and you’ll constantly be in fear of someone throwing a brick at your head or burning out your cop car just...
View ArticleKids In Cages Disguise Selves As BLM Rioters In Hopes Of Kamala Freeing Them
U.S.-MEXICO BORDER—At a migrant child facility near the U.S.-Mexico border in southern Arizona, children caught wind of Kamala Harris coming to visit them, hearing her cackle from thousands of miles...
View ArticleKamala, Decision Maker?
I hope today finds you well. Well, the Harris administration has finally silenced the radical right with Kamala’s historic trip down to the border. There she was at the epicenter of the border...
View ArticleBiden Says Latinx Aren’t Getting Vaccinated Because Their Giant Sombreros...
RALEIGH, NC—It looks like President Joe Biden is not going to meet his goal of 70% of adults vaccinated by July 4th, and in a recent statement to the press during his “month of action” campaign, he...
View ArticleIs Your Teenager Secretly A Libertarian? 9 Warning Signs To Look For
It’s every parent’s worst nightmare: your kid comes out as a libertarian. Don’t worry — we can help you nip it in the bud. You should be closely involved in your teen’s life to make sure he doesn’t...
View ArticleWith Pride Month Ending, Nation Excited For Lust, Gluttony, Envy Months
U.S.—After a fun and exciting month of celebrating pride, the first of the seven deadly sins, Americans are gearing up to celebrate Greed Month—as well as Lust Month, Envy Month, Gluttony Month, Wrath...
View Article8 Disturbing Signs That A President Is Planning To Become An Oppressive Dictator
We all know Biden is planning to become an oppressive dictator. He is a Democrat and Democrats are Marxists and Marxists killed one hundred million people last century, so Biden is probably planning to...
View ArticleFrustrated Women Demand Trans Women In Public Restrooms Stop Leaving The...
“We’re sick of it!” said one probably transphobic woman. “We women have to deal with this all the time at home with our husbands or boyfriends, and now this? What’s it gonna take for you men– er,...
View Article10 Reasons The 2020 Election Was The Fairest Election Of All Time
Everyone knows the 2020 election was literally the most secure and fair presidential election—like, ever. But we know there are still a few skeptics out there. Here at the Bee, our number one mission...
View Article‘We At The NSA Are Not Spying On You,’ Insists Muffled Voice Coming From...
BOCA GRANDE, FL—Fox News host Tucker Carlson has been going back and forth with the NSA, with the television commentator insisting the NSA is spying on him. The agency, however, has denied the claim,...
View ArticleFacebook To Provide Pop-Up Warning When Your Friends Begin Thinking For...
MENLO PARK, CA—Facebook has introduced a new feature that will warn you when one of your friends is sharing free and independent thoughts on its network. Should you encounter an unapproved opinion,...
View ArticleBravo New York Times!
What a fantastic headline today, at the Old Gray Lady. The Trump tax evasion scandal, way to grab on to what is the essential news going on in America right now. Pulitzer Prize worthy actually. I mean...
View ArticleNew Evidence Indicates Critical Race Theory Escaped From A Lab In A College...
U.S.—Scientists have discovered mounting evidence that critical race theory escaped from a lab in a college humanities department some decades ago. Originally thought to be a deranged conspiracy...
View ArticleBiden, Psaki To Go Door To Door On Bikes Asking If You Have A Moment To Talk...
U.S.—After falling short of his vaccination goals this month, the Biden Administration has announced a new effort to encourage people to get vaccinated. President Biden and Press Secretary Jen Psaki...
View ArticleUpdated Death Certificates Require Choosing Between COVID, Climate Change, Or...
U.S.—The Biden administration is providing new guidance to coroners and medical examiners across the country for determining causes of death. From now on, doctors and officials who sign death...
View Article7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden’s Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
The vaccine door-to-door evangelists are coming for you! Luckily, we at The Babylon Bee are extremely anti-social, so we’ve got some great ways to scare off the vaccine missionaries trying to get you...
View ArticleNever Forget: Here Are 12 Artifacts That Have Been Donated To The...
The Smithsonian has seen an influx of donations of relics from January 6, the darkest day in our nation’s history, if you don’t count a few of the big ones. Here are twelve of the most significant...
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7 Signs Your Kid Might Be Learning CRT At School
We all know that CRT is simply the honest teaching of American history. It’s also a niche legal theory that is only taught in college. It’s also an arbitrary label that racists use to slander...
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‘Vaccines Should Be Mandatory,’ Says Woman Wearing My Body, My Choice T-Shirt
PORTLAND, OR—During a conversation at work Monday, local woman Reighnye Leighton argued that the government should just mandate that everyone get vaccinated. She made this argument as she wore her...
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