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Democrats Proudly Introduce The ‘Raise Gas Prices Even Higher And Make More...
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With midterm elections fast approaching, Democrats are rushing to pass key elements of their legislative agenda before they’re voted out of office in November. To serve that goal,...
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First 12 Things Trump Will Do When He Inevitably Returns To Power
The prophets have long whispered of the return of ULTRA-MAGA King Trump. In faith, we know that his return is inevitable and that he will soon reclaim the presidency and set right what has gone awry....
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Biden: ‘I Apologize For My Latest Teleprompter Gaffe, End Apology’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Leader of the free world and President of the United States Joe Biden issued an apology to the American people for an embarrassing blunder that had occurred earlier, stating the...
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12 Most Shocking Revelations From Hunter Biden’s Laptop
The entire contents of Hunter Biden’s laptop, iphone, and ipad have been leaked to the public. How embarrassing! The Babylon Bee team spent all night scrolling through 4chan threads last night and we...
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How Jill Biden Describes Each Ethnicity
Jill Biden recently referred to Latino people as “Breakfast Tacos,” eschewing the more politically correct term, “Brxxkfst Txcxs.” Despite her faux pas, this isn’t the first time she’s used colorful...
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10 Ways To Spot The Closeted Conservative Working At Starbucks
Being a conservative working at Starbucks is more dangerous than being a Navy Seal behind enemy lines. If you want to play a fun game, try looking for the closeted conservative at your local...
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Officials Announce They Put The Decimal In The Wrong Place, Inflation...
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Labor Secretary Martin J. Walsh spoke with reporters Friday to clarify previous remarks that the rate of inflation had hit 9.1% in June. He explained that his office had...
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Biden Places ‘I Did That’ Sticker On Gas Pump After Price Drops Two Cents
WASHINGTON,D.C. — After months of saying that he has no control over the price of gas, President Joe Biden is taking credit as prices dip by 2 cents. To highlight this monumental achievement, Biden...
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White Privilege Card Now Good For 10% Off At Whole Foods
U.S. – According to a representative for the official White Privilege rewards program, every Caucasian person’s White Privilege Card is now good for a full 10% off at participating Whole Foods...
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Scientists Unveil Periodic Table Of Genders
U.S. — The nation’s leading scientists unveiled a new periodic table of genders to help everyone keep track of the evolving gender spectrum. Experts are recommending the table be rolled out to schools...
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10 Great Ways To Reverse The Recession
The GDP (Gross Domestic Product) numbers were released today and it turns out we’re in a recession. EVERYBODY PANIC! We’ve got to fix this immediately! Fortunately, we’ve consulted with the highly...
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Biden: ‘I Don’t Know If We’re In A Recession, I’m Not A Biologist’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — America’s GDP has fallen over the last two quarters, stoking fears of a possible recession due to the fact that America is now in a recession. When asked whether the U.S. is now in...
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Climate Change Is Real. Here Are 10 Undeniable Proofs
As we swelter in the dog days of summer, even crotchety ol’ Grandpa Silas is starting to wonder if there might be something to this “climate change” thing after all. Well, we here at The Babylon Bee...
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IRRATIONAL: California joins New York Declares Monkeypox State of Emergency,...
Following in lockstep with the the other Failed Democrat state New York. The only thing deadly here is another stolen election. Here we go. Democrat pre-election fear mongering and chaos in order to...
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Brittney Griner Rewarded With 9 Years Of Not Hearing The U.S. National Anthem
MOSCOW — WNBA star Brittney Griner has been found guilty of drug trafficking charges in Russia. The judge has sentenced Griner to 9 years in a Russian penal colony where she will never have to hear...
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Hunter Biden Breathes Sigh Of Relief As FBI Raid Team Passes By His House On...
WEST PALM BEACH, FL — High-level Chinese asset and sex trafficker Hunter Biden breathed a sigh of relief this evening as an FBI raid team passed by his West Palm Beach vacation home to raid Donald...
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14 Things The FBI Found In Donald Trump’s Safe
The FBI raided former President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago home and found incriminating evidence that he was once President of the United States of America! While they were there they spent over four hours...
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The People’s Cube is 17-years old (and we still don’t know its gender)!
As the People’s Cube turns 17 years old today, let us wish it success in denouncing and canceling enemies of world progress, luck in not being canceled in the process, and heroic compliance with...
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Is the Church in America Dying?
“We are a religious people whose institutions presuppose a Supreme Being.” So declared the U.S. Supreme Court in Zorach v. Clauson (1952). In an earlier decision, Rector of the Holy Trinity v. United...
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#BoycottHersheys: Here Are 3 Chocolate Companies That Actually Celebrate Women
The Hershey Company is facing boycotts and backlash in response to a new ad campaign from Hershey Canada, which uses a male activist who identifies as a transgender woman as a spokesman for...
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