Scholars Now Believe Mary And Joseph Were Denied Room In The Inn Due To Being...
BETHLEHEM—Biblical scholars have uncovered a dusty old scroll that turned out to be a record of Jesus’s birth. According to the ancient writing, Mary and Joseph were actually denied room in the inn...
View ArticleThe Chosen One: 10 Little-Known Facts About Modern-Day Legend Kyle Rittenhouse
Since time immemorial, legend has whispered of a hero prepared by the ancients to defend liberty and shoot commie pedophiles in the name of butt-kicking freedom. Our generation has been blessed to...
View ArticleThe Ghostbusters are back — and this time, they’re busting ghosts that ruin...
Check out our hot new animated video, where the Ghostbusters go around town zappin’ ghosts that don’t agree with the progressive narrative. Get more hard-hitting documentaries, animations, explainers,...
View ArticleVIDEO: Striking Blow Against Toxic Masculinity, Man Graciously Allows Wife To...
He’s a husband. He’s a father. And he’s a feminist. Meet Jerm Hoth, the feminist husband who strikes a blow against toxic masculinity by allowing his wife to change a tire, plunge a toilet, and kill a...
View ArticleKyle Rittenhouse Asked To Step Outside And Defend The Courthouse While...
KENOSHA, WI—Moments before reading the verdict, the twelve jurors in the trial of Kyle Rittenhouse asked if the defendant would please step outside and defend the courthouse. “We, the jury will...
View ArticleRittenhouse, Sandmann Agree To Share Joint Custody Of CNN
ATLANTA, GA—With Rittenhouse found “not guilty”, media outlets across the country are preparing for costly defamation lawsuits after a year of calling him a white supremacist. With CNN already...
View ArticleClever Business Owners Ward Off Looters With Kyle Rittenhouse Scarecrows
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Small business owners have devised a clever solution to the mostly-peaceful looting problem that has plagued retail stores in the nation’s democrat-run cities. Standing near a Kyle...
View ArticleCNN Reports On ‘Deadly Boat Accident’ At Pearl Harbor
HONOLULU, HI—CNN and other mainstream news outlets are reporting on a “tragic, completely accidental” boating accident at Pearl Harbor. As details still come in, CNN is urging people to not rush to...
View ArticleTop 8 Reasons You Absolutely DON’T Need A Gun
Are you thinking about buying a gun? Ew. What’s wrong with you? Gross! Just… ew. Guns are very problematic, and so are the people who use them. You don’t need one. Here’s why. #1) You can always count...
View ArticleJack Dorsey Resigns In Embarrassment After Realizing He Helped Elect Joe Biden
SAN FRANSISCO, CA—Jack Dorsey has stepped down as CEO of Twitter after realizing to his horror that he helped elect Joe Biden as President. “Dear God…what have I done?” said Dorsey as he realized his...
View Article10 Christmas Gift Ideas For Your Conservative Child
With Christmas just around the corner, you’re probably looking for unique gifts that tell your children how much joy they bring to your life as well as the importance of limited government. Worry not,...
View ArticleSanta To Replace ‘Naughty Or Nice’ List With ‘Vaxxed Or Unvaxxed’ List
NORTH POLE—In a major break with hundreds of years of Christmas tradition, Santa Claus will not be using his famous “Naughty or Nice” list this year. Instead, Father Christmas will be keeping a list...
View ArticleJen Psaki Announces President Biden Will Visit Family Of Traumatized Waukesha...
WASHINGTON D.C.—During a press conference today, Jen Psaki confirmed that President Biden will soon be visiting Waukesha to comfort the family of the traumatized SUV driver. “President Biden has a big...
View ArticleGerman Health Minister: ‘We Must Take Large Groups Of Unvaccinated And...
BERLIN—German Health Minister Jens Spahn has announced his aggressive plan to fight COVID, which will include gathering all the unvaccinated people and putting them in special secured areas where they...
View ArticleDeSantis Introduces Controversial Proposal To Grow Personal Army Of Uruk-Hai
TALLAHASSEE, FL —Florida Governor Ron DeSantis stirred up controversy this week after he proposed allocating state funds to grow his own personal army of Uruk-Hai orc warriors. “Frankly, the federal...
View ArticleBiden Administration Celebrates Creating 2 Whole Jobs
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Members of the Biden Administration were in high spirits and celebrating the nation’s burgeoning economy after the November jobs report showed an astounding growth of two whole jobs....
View ArticleTo Save Time, Ghislaine Maxwell Just Lists The Hollywood Celebs And...
NEW YORK, NY—The trial of Ghislaine Maxwell is underway but began to get bogged as Maxwell listed the names of people who had flown on Lolita Express and visited Epstein Island. Now, in order to save...
View ArticleNEW VIDEO: New Greta On The Shelf Doll Will Track Your Climate Sins
U.S.—A fun new “Greta on the Shelf” doll will watch you every day and fly back to the UN each night to report your climate sins to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. The doll is equipped...
View ArticleTop 10 Candidates To Replace Chris Cuomo
So, um, some people did something, and now CNN’s Primetime slot is empty! Oh no! While we are extremely sad to see the brilliant and legendary Chris Cuomo go, there are a ton of great candidates out...
View ArticleCruel: Jussie Smollett Will Be Forced To Share A Jail Cell With His Attacker
CHICAGO, IL—People are protesting in the streets today after human rights groups revealed Jussie Smollett will be forced to share a jail cell with his racist attackers. “This is an outrage!” said...
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